“Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful… that’s what matters to me.” – Steve Jobs
Words matter. What you say can affect how people perceive you. Ideally, the words you use will elevate you and motivate those around you. They should not hurt you or your relationships. Viewing every conversation as an opportunity to create a positive impression or experience will help you be terrific.
A VP of Sales who I worked closely with before I co-founded Aha! always said “honestly” when he really wanted something. He thought that it was a way to make a hard point, but we all questioned whether he was lying to us at all other times.
We smirked whenever he said it and alarm bells went off in my head. Beginning a request with “honestly” didn’t inspire anyone around him to give him whatever he wanted in a better or faster fashion; it just made us suspicious of him. Why?
To be credible, you should be straightforward every time. And when you are, no qualifier like “honestly” is needed. Authenticity is the only honesty you need.
I believe that “honestly” is the most damaging word in business for three reasons:
Destroys your credibility
Using the term “honestly” at best undermines and at worst destroys your credibility. Some people will react like I did to the sales VP and question your overall transparency – or your level of dishonesty in other situations. Using that term calls one’s integrity into question.
Window to your frustration
Employing a term like “honestly” is like a “tell” in poker: it grabs attention, sometimes when you least want it and often after someone has disagreed with you. Don’t let your words be a window to your frustration! Whatever frustration you have is best communicated with direct words – and yes, communicated honestly. Use your clarity of thought and tone to share your point-of-view. Don’t let threatening words like “honestly” to try to make your case for you.
Prefacing a statement with “honestly” creates distance. It pushes people back, making it harder for them to get close and to see your point. This approach harms your own relationship-building, let alone any argument that you are poised to make. Words matter a lot, and your integrity matters more; don’t compromise it by creating the chasm of a bad impression. To draw people in, be earnest in your interactions every time.
Kudos to you if you have learned to avoid using words like “honestly.” And if you don’t use them, you probably are keenly aware of them when they are spoken.
“Honestly” might even give you a little scare if it is a word that does not cross your lips. But move beyond the initial shiver because there are insights to be learned. Listen closely for why the speaker chose the word. There is emotion/motivation to be gleaned from whatever follows.
For the best self-presentation in the workplace, think about the words you use and how you deliver them. Seek language that is clear and positive and which avoids the risk of drawing your integrity into question. Speaking eloquently, confidently, directly, and in an unqualified manner will reduces misunderstandings and will increase respect for you as well as for the message you are delivering.
Honestly, how do you feel when you hear the word?
ABOUT BRIAN AND AHA!
Brian seeks business and wilderness adventure. He has been the founder or early employee of six cloud-based software companies and is the CEO of Aha! — the world’s #1 product roadmap software. His last two companies were acquired by Aruba Networks [ARUN] and Citrix [CTXS].
Signup for a free trial of Aha! and see why over 5,000 users on the world’s leading product and engineering teams trust Aha! to build brilliant product strategy and visual roadmaps.
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Walter Unger CCIM, CCSS, CCLS
I am a successful Commercial Investment Real Estate Broker in Arizona now for 20 years and I worked with banks and their commercial REO properties for 3 years. I am also a commercial landspecialist in Phoenix and a Landspecialist in Arizona.
WHETHER YOU LEASE OR OWN
NOW IS THE TIME FOR YOU TO EXPAND, UPGRADE OR INVEST.
we are at on the a rise of the cycle in Commercial Real Estate. so there is only one way and it’s called we are going up and now is the time for you to expand, upgrade or invest in Commercial Properties in Phoenix. The prices on deals I may get you will not be around forever.
If you have any questions about Commercial Investment Properties in Phoenix or Commercial Investment Properties in Arizona, I will gladly sit down with you and share my expertise and my professional opinion in Commercial Properties in Phoenix or Commercial Properties in Arizona with you.Obviously I am also in this to make money, but it could be a win-win situation for all of us.
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Walter Unger CCIM
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